We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
