oh god the rape fog is back!
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize