Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize