i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
