I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
