We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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