dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
