my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
