I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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