yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize