I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
