I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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