On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
