I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
