I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
