Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
