if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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