I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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