Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
