So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
