Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
