We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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