Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
