My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
