I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
