im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
