I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
