like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
