Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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