Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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