He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
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