I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
