Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
