i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
as a side note pls kill me
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
