why didn't you poke me back
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize