I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
