Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
