Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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