Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
