you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
