I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize