the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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