When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
