my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
