sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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