i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
