Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
