she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
