i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm bleeding and have questions
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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