you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
