Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
