I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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