I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
