I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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