How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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