i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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