one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
