That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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