"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
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