tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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