i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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