I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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