are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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